David Hayward shares what his wife has taught him about apologizing

Monday, October 28, 2013

“What my wife says when I apologize like Rick Warren”
Have you noticed a certain pattern in the apologies of public figures in recent years?  No matter what the wrongdoing is— or how long it takes to speak out about it, and then only after considerable pressure from advisors—the words seem to follow the same blueprint. They are not “I’m sorry I said something I should never have said,” or “I’m sorry I acted in such a way that caused so much pain.”  No, the words are more likely to go something like this:  “If anyone has taken offense at what I said (or did), I am sorry  that they have been offended (or hurt, or upset).”  David Hayward, in his The Naked Pastor blog on Patheos, says such apologies are not real apologies.  He says his wife would not let him get away with such an “apology,” and he shares with us what his wife has taught him.  He says a genuine apology should have three basic parts. Can you guess what they are?  Since we’ve all said or done things (or failed to say or do things) that have resulted in hurting others in some way, it’s worth pondering Hayward’s points.  Related: See “Six Types of Apologies that Aren’t Apologies at All” by columnist Christina H. on the website, Cracked.

Letha Dawson Scanzoni
Letha Dawson Scanzoni (1935-2024) was an independent scholar, writer, and editor, and the author or coauthor of nine books. In 1978, she and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott wrote Is the Homosexual My Neighbor?, one of the earliest books urging evangelical Christians to rethink their views on homosexuality (updated edition, 1994, HarperOne). More recently, Letha coauthored (with social psychologist David G. Myers) What God Has Joined Together: The Christian Case for Gay Marriage (HarperOne, 2005 and 2006). Another of Letha’s most well-known books is All We’re Meant to Be: Biblical Feminism for Today, coauthored with Nancy A. Hardesty (Word Books, 1974; revised edition, Abingdon, 1986; updated and expanded edition, Eerdmans, 1992). Letha served as editor of Christian Feminism Today in both its former print edition (EEWC Update) and its website for 19 years until her retirement in December 2013.