Preparing Jesus for Sunday

by Carolyn Martin

Woman's hands playing the guitar

Before we go in, let’s review the order again:
the Gathering/Greeting/Gloria/
Epistle/Gospel/Sermon/Creed/
Consecration/Lord’s Prayer/ Sign of Peace/
Communion/Collections/Recessional/
coffee and donuts in the downstairs hall.
Anything I left out?

No. Leave your guitar in the trunk.
The folk group played last night.
Remember I explained Saturday
became another Sunday decades ago.

Woman priests? Yes, you were very clear.
I know your club included everyone,
but centuries have not been kind …

I don’t think lying on the church’s steps
will achieve much of anything.
I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Do me a favor: Listen to the Gospel
carefully – I’d like to know
if you really said what it claims.

Anyway, try not to doze during the homily.
No one can best your show on the Mount.
The way you used anaphora was brilliant
and so was … but I digress.

When it’s communion time, extend
your hands to receive your body,
then move toward the cup and sip your blood.

That’s not what you meant? Not literal?
For God’s sake, keep that to yourself.
It’s heresy and they’ll kick you out.

On second thought, maybe we should try
the Lutherans down the street.
Their woman pastor is committed
to social justice ministries and may need
a guitar for Sunday services each week.

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