A ViewPoint by Annette Rochelle Harris-Callahan, MDiv
Betrayal is among the most painful realities in human beings’ experience. It reaches deeper than disappointment, cuts sharper than conflict, and lingers longer than most griefs. Whether it arises from trusted friends, family, colleagues, ministry partners, or those within the Church, betrayal leaves a wound that affects body, mind, and soul. Many people learn to function while carrying unspoken injuries—smiling outwardly while bleeding internally. Whether we have been betrayed or we have betrayed others, betrayal touches more of our spiritual formation than we often realize. Betrayal is a verb with intentionality.
Scripture treats betrayal not as an event but as a profound spiritual rupture. The Hebrew term bagad (בָּגד) means “to act treacherously” or “to be unfaithful,” revealing betrayal as a breach of covenant love (Isaiah 24:16). The ancient Greek paradidōmi (παραδίδωμι) means “to hand over” (Matthew 26:15), reminding us that betrayal is not merely emotional harm—it is the handing over of trust into unsafe hands. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines betrayal as a “violation of a person’s trust or moral standards.”
Though we often think of betrayal as something done to us, it can also be something we do to ourselves. When people violate their own values, silence their convictions, or compromise their bodies and boundaries to be loved or accepted, they are betraying their God-given identity. This internal betrayal often ignites deep pain.
As a hospital chaplain, I have witnessed betrayal in families fractured by illness, in friendships abandoned at the bedside, and in marriages strained by crisis. I have seen patients betrayed by their own bodies, leaders betrayed by their congregations, and young adults betrayed by the very people they depended on for stability. But above all, I have seen a God who remains steadfast and does not betray, abandon, or mislead.
Betrayal in scripture
The Bible presents betrayal honestly and repeatedly. Adam and Eve broke trust with God in the garden (Genesis 3). Joseph’s brothers betrayed him out of jealousy, selling him into slavery (Genesis 37:18–28). David experienced betrayal at the hands of Ahithophel, one of his closest advisors (2 Samuel 15:12). Each narrative reveals that betrayal is not random; it is relational, often arising in the very places we expect safety.
The most obvious betrayal is Judas handing Jesus over for thirty pieces of silver (Matthew 26:14-16). Jesus was betrayed by someone he had taught, fed, empowered, loved, and trusted. Judas’ decision set into motion the crucifixion, and although it fulfilled prophecy, it also left Judas spiritually devastated (Matthew 27:3–5).
Humanity, including believers, betrays Christ through sin. Jesus healed, taught, delivered, and restored, and yet humanity handed him over to be crucified. This reality frames betrayal not merely as an interpersonal failure but as a reminder of the universal need for redemption.
Jesus’s response to betrayal establishes the path for every believer:
- He acknowledged the betrayal (“One of you will betray Me,” Matthew 26:21).
- He did not retaliate (Matthew 26:52,54).
- He forgave fully (“Father, forgive them,” Luke 23:34).
- He remained focused on His mission (Isaiah 53:1–5).
- He transformed the betrayal into redemption through resurrection (Matthew 28:5–7).
Betrayal becomes personal
During my residency at a Level I Trauma Center, I experienced betrayal on several occasions. Even as I accompanied patients and families through their own suffering and grieving by helping them turn toward the compassionate presence of God, I was struggling. I ran to the Chapel daily, sometimes multiple times a day. I cried, fasted, prayed, and committed each wound to God by name. I reminded myself of my assignment as a chaplain—to serve with excellence, courage, and integrity, even when I experienced hostility. I reminded myself that I am a chaplain, brave and bold—the sage going where many people won’t, with the power of the Holy Spirit as my guide.
As time went by, the medical team, volunteers, patients, staff, and families became my place of joy, purpose, and calling. I poured myself into soul care with sincerity and resilience.
After my residency ended, I visited a former seminary professor. As we spoke, she gently observed that although I had forgiven those who hurt me, I had not yet asked God to heal me. Her words pierced deeply. I felt spiritually wounded, functioning, but not whole. During the one-hour drive home from our meeting, I wept and prayed and asked God to heal my “soul wounds,” both visible and invisible.
Over the following days, I lamented, fasted, and sought restoration. By God’s grace, I can now say with confidence that I am nearly healed, though I am still growing and still learning to walk free of bitterness.
How Christians can respond to betrayal
First, when people are vulnerable with you and share an experience of betrayal, believe them. Validation is important.
Think about betrayal from both sides. Consider how it feels to be betrayed but also think about how it feels when you betray someone else. It’s easy to admit when we have been betrayed, but not so easy when we have been the betrayer.
Let Jesus show you the path to healing:
- Name the betrayal, respond with grace, not revenge.
- Pray for healing and forgiveness.
- Set healthy boundaries as an act of wisdom, not hatred.
- Seek God’s restoration—because unhealed betrayal keeps us stuck.
- Remember that even though other people may not understand the extent of your own woundedness, God sees you and knows what you have experienced.
As Bessel van der Kolk notes in the title of his formative book on trauma, “the body keeps the score.” In other words, betrayal affects our entire being. Yet God can heal all of us—mind, body, and spirit.
Through Christ’s resurrecting power, betrayal does not get the final word. Instead, betrayal can become a steppingstone on our way to becoming stronger Christians and women of excellence.
Remember that God sees all, knows all, and is all-powerful—omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent, and just.
When placed in God’s hands, betrayal does not define us; it refines us!
A Prayer for the Broken-Hearted
El Elyon, Most High God, heal my soul wounds.
Give me the strength to forgive those who have hurt me.
Show me that my identity and self-worth rest in you alone.
Restore my spirit and renew my mind.
Heal every hidden place.
Transform me.
This I ask in Jesus’s name.
Amen.
© 2025 by Annette Rochelle Harris-Callahan
Please request written permission before reprinting any part of this article.
