“When One Woman Cries. . .”
Hi Kimberly,
We seem to have come full circle, having begun this blog three and a half years ago with a discussion of Betty Friedan...
More on Friedan: Marketing of Desire and What Language Hides
Hi Letha,
Thanks so much for your last post on Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique, in which you helpfully outlined the historical realities that many women were facing...
What Betty Friedan Did and Didn’t Do
Dear Kimberly,
You and I are so much on the same wave length and such good friends that I can’t recall our ever disagreeing, even...
Feminine Mystique–Revisited
Hi Letha,
I appreciated so much your discussion of the many forms of violence–especially verbal violence. I know a lot of women (and men) have...
Verbal Violence Is No Joke!
Dear Kimberly,
I had many thoughts as I read your last letter about the fraternity hazing at Yale that required new pledges to march through...
Connections Between Feminism, Religion, and the Greek System
Dear Letha,
I hope you are enjoying the festivities of the holidays. I finished up a rather grueling semester (120 pages written just the last...
Stepping over Boundaries and Finding New Metaphors
Dear Kimberly,
Since you’re inundated with your Yale studies and deadlines for papers at this busy time of year, I’m happy to help out by...
“Paradigm Lost” and Slippery Slope Panic
Dear Kimberly,
After reading your September 14 post, I purchased Elisabeth Elliot’s Passion and Purity. I didn’t want to discuss something that I hadn’t even read!
As you...
More Thoughts on the Writings of Elisabeth Elliot
Hi Letha,
As you know, I’ve just returned to school, after spending a summer working in the Pacific Northwest. It feels good to be back...
Relationships: Complementing and Complimenting
Dear Kim,
It was wonderful to see you at the EEWC-Christian Feminism Today Gathering in Indianapolis a few weeks ago and to continue these intergenerational conversations before...
Experiments with Pedagogy: More Thoughts on Approaches to Learning
Collaborating well across the disciplines thus also requires a kind interpersonal agility, a skill which is connected to self-knowledge. If we don’t know ourselves well, we won’t have an awareness of our patterns of relating to the other. Knowledge of interpersonal styles of relating, though, does not seem to be a primary point of concern in many forms of higher education.
Think Critically, Question Constantly, Learn Continuously, See Connections
Dear Kimberly,
I was moved by your March 30 post as you continued our discussion of empathy and othering. Our conversation seems especially timely in...
More Thoughts on Othering and Empathy
Letha,
Your last post, in which you illustrated so well the harm of “othering,” named a topic that is more and more becoming a core...
Empathy: An Antidote to “Othering”
Dear Kimberly,
I’ve been thinking a lot about empathy lately, and it ties in with something you referred to in your December 1 letter --...
Normative Restrictions: From 19th Century Victorian “Ideals” to Twilight
Dear Letha,
I appreciated how in your last letter you nuanced the different patterns through which cultures control women. In this letter, I’d like to...
Dreams without Boundaries
Dear Kimberly,
Last weekend, the film discussion group that I attend regularly viewed an advance screening of Amelia, the story of aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart, who...
What is the Role of Religious Feminists?
Dear Letha,
In your last letter, you discussed the sad reality that the oppression of women has been intimately interwoven with religious dogma. I would like...
Religion, Women’s Status, and Self-image
Dear Kimberly,
As you pointed out so well in your last letter, girls and women have had access to education for a relatively short time...
Women, Education, and Expectations
Hi Letha,
Thanks so much for your last letter about “great and not so great expectations” for women.” Right now, I am thinking about how...
Great and Not-So-Great Expectations
When Steven Goldberg's controversial book, The Inevitability of Patriarchy was published in the 1970s, he argued for the existence of a "biologically-based male superiority" that equips the male sex for dominance and achievements. He claimed that "there is not a single woman whose genius has approached that of any number of men in philosophy, mathematics, composing, theorizing of any kind, or even painting."
From Images of Women in Western Pop Culture to the State of Girls in...
Dear Letha,
I loved your last letter, especially how you juxtaposed the situation in Swat Valley, Pakistan with the situation of Susan Boyle in the...
Dreaming a Dream, Lighting a Light
Dear Kimberly,
Your further thoughts about pride, lookism, racism, and anti-feminist religious teachings were right on the mark! I want to pick up on that...
More Thoughts on Women and Pride, also the Interplay of Lookism and Racism
Dear Letha,
Now it is my turn to apologize for my slow reply to your last letter! As you know, this past month has been...
More about “Lookism,” also Are Sins “Gender-specific”?
Dear Kimberly,
So many things in the news have recently reminded me of your last letter about how women are judged by their appearance, causing...
The 1968 Beauty Pageant, Women’s History, and “Lookism”
Dear Letha,
Now it’s my turn to apologize for a late response to your last letter! As you know, my life has been rather busy...
They Didn’t Burn Their Bras!
Dear Kimberly,
I apologize for taking so long to respond to your November 22 letter; but as you know, I had some health issues come...
Feminism Has an Image Problem
Letha,
I really appreciated what you touched on in your last letter, especially your explanation of the typology Yates uses to understand second-wave feminism. The “women...
Some Thoughts on Fundamentalism and Feminism
Dear Kimberly,
I appreciated your honest sharing in your last letter. Your struggles during your teenage and college years are struggles that many of us...
Faith, Rebellion, and a Larger Story
As a college sophomore I went into the office of my professor of Christian Doctrine, breaking down in tears and telling him why I was going to give up my faith. I could not submit to these expectations of submission and subservience placed on my femininity within the church circles I knew, and I could only assume there was therefore no place for me within Christianity. I was either committed to women’s rights or I was a “Bible-believing” Christian. I could not, surely, be both. (It seems that my black- and-white, either/or thinking, so trained in me by fundamentalism itself, was even at work in my recanting!)
Why Should Difference Make Any Difference
I knew the Bible verses some of my teachers were using to teach these things, but it did not make sense to me, though I said nothing at the time. It just didn't sound at all like something that the God I loved and served would do! Why would God create females with brains and talents and abilities and yearnings to serve and advance the good news of the gospel and then say, "No thanks, I don't need or want your service"?
It is painful to have one's wings clipped. I tried to follow the gender hierarchy that I was taught, but down deep the seeds of what would later be called Christian feminism were taking root.
P.S. Women, Politics, and a Day of Remembering
Hi Letha,
I know this is sort of unusual for our exchange of letters, but I realized that I wanted to let you and our...
Remembering, Grieving, and the Pursuit of Wholeness
Hi Letha,
I just finished watching the trailers of the movies you mentioned in your last letter, and I look forward to watching the actual...
When Gender Roles Become Straitjackets
Dear Kimberly,
I've been concerned that some of our recent conversations might strike our readers as irrelevant during this current economic crisis. It's one thing...
More on Mothers…But Where are the Dads?
Dear Letha,
Two things strike me after listening to the NPR segment you mentioned between Alice and Nina Rossi, as well as the humorous song...
Being a Feminist, Being a Mom (or Not!)
Dear Kimberly,
In this letter and my next one, I'd like to comment on two topics you brought up in your Sept. 24 letter. One...
Developing Wholeness in Both Men and Women
Dear Letha,
When I go back and read our letters these past few weeks about parenting and gender roles, I realize again how difficult these...
More about Gender-Based Division of Labor in the Home
Dear Kimberly,
It was great reading your personal "observational study" of fathers and children delighting in their time together! And thank you for sharing your...
Who Can Nurture? More Thoughts on Parenting
Dear Letha,
It is a very curious thing for me to sit back and try to look with a “beginner's mind” at all these notions...
Work-Family Balance: 1950s and Now
Dear Kimberly,
In my post last week, I promised to tell more of my own story and continue where I left off on July 30...
Election Woes
Letha,
I know this is a new direction from our letters this past week, but I need to talk to you about the election! Specifically,...
"Nothing New Under the Sun"
Dear Kimberly,
It's hard to know where to begin in responding to your last letter -- and especially the link to the video in which...
Quakers, Gender Roles, and “Chickified Men”
Dear Letha,
As I sit down to write this letter, I find myself sipping tea, listening to Rachmaninoff, and surrounded by many piles of books...
Why Is Feminism Resisted?
Dear Kimberly,
I loved your "Mr. and Mrs. Christian" wordplay on the "Mr. and Mrs. Human" heading that I used as part of my previous...
Christian and Mrs. Christian
Dear Letha,
Thanks for recommending the essays of Dorothy Sayers. I have not yet read them, but it’s time! I love the distinction her editor...
Human Being, Being Human
Dear Kimberly,
I thought I'd continue our dialogue about our respective readings of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique as we became familiar with it during two different...
“The Feminine Mystique”– Then and Now, Part 2
Dear Letha,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on what your world was like when you first held The Feminine Mystique in your hands. You are right...
The “Feminine Mystique”–Then and Now, Part 1
Since you've set the stage with the story of how we met and began corresponding, Kimberly, I'd like to begin our dialogue with an...
How It All Began
What began that night of first “meeting” was a series of emails, letters, and phone calls, in which Letha and I have become friends and learned from one another as we discuss life, faith, and feminism.
