May 13, 2014
Elizabeth Esther shares her thoughts about being addicted to chaos, which seems to afflict not only those who grew up in fundamentalist environments, but people from many backgrounds and experiences. In the post Esther addresses her own desire to be honest, rather than good, and the challenges of living in perpetual chaos:
“It’s taken a lot of therapy, but eventually I’ve realized that I’m addicted to intensity. Even though I hated The Crazy, at least The Crazy was comfortable. I understood it. I knew what to expect. And even though I could see how living on this razor-sharp edge would eventually kill me, I preferred The Crazy.
“This is how you know you have a problem: you keep returning to The Crazy even though you know it will kill you.”